This Poe Parody/Translation [Boing Boing] reminded me of my own take on the first three stanzas of The Raven written in the wee hours of the morning after staying up for two nights trying to finish an A.I. assignment. Procrastination is a cruel mistress. Three hours before class, my professor emailed us and said we had another four days to complete the assignment.
This was my response:
Once wandered one named Alan, who ponder’d how he’d get a gallon
Out of many a quaint and curious volumed water jugs,
While he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly he’d find a mapping,
He’d wake, fingers tapping, clapping for those caffeinated drugs.
“(defvar visitor…” he fluttered, and drank caffeinated drugs.
Common Lisp kept finding bugs.
Ah, how clearly he remembered, and would’ve done dismembered
Lines and lines of silly Java code for nothing more than sport
Woefully he mourned the morrow; he would enter, beg and borrow
For some chance to ease the sorrow, to which Sanjoy would retort
In infinite wisdom, “It’s not my fault Lisp is not your forte.
Sorry.” Tough luck kid, in short.
As the sad forced-typing pressure, of a student who’d feel fresher
If he’d planned ahead and, like some others, slept a good night’s sleep;
Slowed, there rang the email Ding. O’ what worse horror could it bring?
Is the daemon trying to sing? And Oh! How high his heart did climb!
What bliss is this? Class canceled? Salvation for his wretched crime!
This was it. He had more time.
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